


Infinity

by Synapsida



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19756579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synapsida/pseuds/Synapsida
Summary: The age of your soulmate when you meet is printed on your wrist. Sadly you got fucked over by destiny with an infinity symbol, so you guess you’re out of the game.





	Infinity

You leant against a wall in Voyagers med bay, your hands pressed on your thighs and pushing air slowly into your lungs and then back out. You hated space. You hated the delta quadrant. You hated starfleet. You hated birthday parties were two crew mates shook hands for the first time in congratulations and learned that they were, in fact, soul mates.

Contrary to most of your crew mates you didn’t mind being stranded in the delta quadrant as much as others, mostly the young ensigns. There had been endless talk about their soulmates from the moment on they realized they were stranded: Desperation- the fear and realization of never meeting their soulmate or of never seeing them again if they had already been found. Confusion, because none of the ages on any wrists had changed. A faint hope that they would find a way back before. Endless theories based on those imprints.

And eventually the all pervading topic of soulmates and how it dominated humanoid life in the universe had subsided on Voyager and became a faint background noise nobody really wanted to talk about.

And now - this. This … unfortunate accident, this finding of soulmates, the energy that came with it had swept through the ship and had even tempted steadfast Janeway to offer her congratulations. And while the ship now brimmed again with talk and possibilities and a soulmate celebration to be held you had fled to med bay, yelled at the EMH - the poor doctor, you would have to apologize later - and then at some point sunken to the floor, staring gloomily at your own wrist. Where a number should be you only had a symbol of infinity, a lying eight - an undeniable ∞.

It didn’t even faintly look like an eight, which would’ve been slightly concerning on it’s own at your age, as you had hoped as a child. When you had still held your breath whenever you were introduced to someone your age. Then someone slightly younger. Then someone a lot younger. You had stopped hoping around your eleventh birthday when you couldn’t fool yourself anymore. It had been a long lesson of physics in class when you had been introduced to the infinity symbol and realized that there was nothing left to hope for. Destiny had fucked up. To you, all this symbol meant was a big fat ‚Nope‘ from the universe itself. You grew to resent the soulmate cult around your teenage years and were secretly glad when talk of it had died down on the Voyager some months after the displacement. Everyone had grasped the fact that they’d not find their soulmate for the foreseeable future and had come to terms with it. Just as you had to live in their world before, they now had to join yours. Fair play.

More tears welled up, you choked and sobbed until a pair of arms took you in, pulled you closer until your head lay on the chest of the Doctor. His movement was somewhat awkward - he was not usually the type to pull crew mates into his arms and his rather harsh disposition did not make him the first call for people in emotional distress anyway.

But, as he once had said to you, he was a hologram and his chances of finding a soul mate where as high as yours. Zero.

Soulmate festivities usually lasted two weeks - the union of two minds was celebrated after all and it was not like the Voyager was in a rush. What were two weeks compared to 70 to 80 years and everybody needed something to cheer up.

You had managed to avoid the first couple of days already and now with most of the crew nursing a hangover another person not leaving her quarters rarely raised anyones eyebrows.

You had pulled up your favorite shows, used your rations to replicate a rakhtajino and some, okay a lot, of comfort food that would definitely raise the Doctors eyebrows and had decided to enjoy the vacation your way.

That is until the yellow alarm sounded - you pulled over your uniform, just in case - quickly followed by a red alarm - you now put your uniform on in record time - and you rushed over to the bridge - your station as security personnel aboard Voyager.

The bridge was in disarray, to put it mildly. Chakotay way yelling something, a few people were running around headless - not literally - only Tuvok was at his station, pushing buttons, analyzing things, sciencing science.

„Commander Chakotay, Sir. Where’s the Captain?“ you asked, your eyes flickering over his exposed wrist as he lifted his hands for a second and then sighed. His number was not Captain Janeways age and would never be, you noted for yourself.

„In her Quarters. Good that you’re here, Lieutenant Y/N, come with me, I haven’t had contact with her.“

You nodded and then fell into an easy jog alongside his long strides through the ship.

„Sir, if I may … „

„You may“, he said and although he was tense you could see the glint of a smile in his eyes.  
„An entity we have encountered before has boarded ship a few minutes ago“ he then explained before you had a chance to open your mouth. Both of you turned around a corner and he saw the quizzical expression on your face.  
„Omnipotent. Extremely … dangerous.“

For a moment there you had a feeling that he had wanted to say something else.  
„Sir, I don’t think I understand … the red alarm …?“

„You’ll see, just stay alert.“ he sighed and the both of you turned around another corner.

„My dear Captain Janeway“ a voice drawled, sounding lazy and with a dark rich quality to it.  
„Q.“ the exasperated sigh of your Captain did not sound like an emergency per se, but that was not your decision to make.  
„How can you have a two week party without inviting me? All the indulgence, the raw hedonism“ you could hear a knowing eyebrow wriggle in his voice.  
When you and Chakotay entered the room she had just opened her mouth to answer and probably shut him down too, but the other voice interrupted her already.  
„And you already invited Chakotay“ a sigh followed your superior officers name and you had a moment to take in the figure in front of you - tall and muscular without being bulky. He had the physic of a cat and the smirk on his lips reflected in his eyes, inviting you and warning you at the same time. Your wrist began to itch as his eyes crossed yours and you pulled your eyebrows into a furrow.

„And who are you, mon petite cher?“ he didn’t bother with Chakotay who tried to raise his voice, neither did he care for the Captain demanding his attention. Instead he cocked his head lightly and when Chakotay tried to put a hand on his arm - what a macho gesture, you thought - the dark haired man vanished with a flash of light.  
His voice was now right behind your ear and a shudder crawled down your spine. Your wrist had begun to hurt - a burning sensation as if someone was trying to tattoo that symbol of shame with a hot nail onto your skin.  
„I’ve never seen you before.“ his voice dropped even more and you wondered at the melodic cadence when he talked.

„Leave her alone Q, she is my security.“ Janeway interrupted whatever he wanted to whisper and he threw his head back and laughed a boisterous laugh. You rubbed your wrist.  
„Security?“ he laughed again. You realized how tall he was when he had to bend down to your level, his dark eyes searching your face for something.  
„Oh dear Kathy, I don’t think she has it in her.“

You could feel heat rushing up to your face and neck at the offense and the blood rushing through your veins with fury.  
„Careful, Sir. I may not know who you are but I will - „

„Yes?“ he interrupted you the smile on his face almost excited, giddy with anticipation.  
„Oh you should have invited me last week, Kathy, there’s so much …“ he paused as if searching for the right word.

„ … fun.“

He lifted his fingers and as he did you lifted your phaser, pressing it right under his chin. But the man still smiled and as he smiled your world began to melt into this single moment, your eyes locked with his and your ears unable to grasp your Captains yell, only processing the sweet words this Q would surely say any moment now. Your wrist now burned giving you the distinct impression of your very bones catching fire in your hand.  
„Touch me and I’ll shoot you.“ you hissed.

There was no fear in his eyes. Only curiosity and pity.

He lifted his fingers. You pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. And then he extended his hand, grabbed your burning fist and turned it around. A second passed between the two of you as his fingers slid over the curves of the infinity symbol and then his eyes snapped up to yours. You wanted to say something, spit it in his face but then you groaned as a million memories crashed over you and into you.

You blacked out on the spot.

You awoke with a gasp for air and with a dream of drowning. A quick look around assured you of a couple of things:

  1. you were in medbay and tucked in a biobed there
  2. your head was dizzy and fuzzy and a strange feeling inside you stirred like a wounded animal
  3. you felt somewhat uneasy but couldn’t possibly put your finger on it
  4. the Q was sitting right next to you, his hands folded as he leant forward to watch you without blinking



For some reason you knew that the uneasiness and restlessness had to do with him. The glint in his eye told you so. An expression settled firmly between morbid interest and downright disgust.

„The fuck are you doing here?“ you muttered and let your head fall back onto the bed. You groaned.  
„You’re my soulmate.“ he sounded exasperated.  
„I don’t have a soulmate.“  
„You do.“ he insisted and pulled his lips into an expression you had never seen before and couldn’t put anywhere. There was something of a snarl in it.  
„No.“ you sighed, tired now.  
„Look, it’s a nonsense symbol.“  
„It’s my age.“  
You let the moment of silent sit between the two of you. You wanted to call him a liar. Yell at him for playing hurtful games with you. Punch him in the face for the audacity to toy with you in such a manner.

But then you … remembered. Remembered the aeons, the millenia. Space and Time. All of it. Your head began to hurt again.  
„I don’t know where integrating my memories in your tiny ape brain will lead to …“ he said, more earnest now.  
„Thanks.“ you muttered while you tried to shut out whatever was bombarding your conscious mind. Your fingers tingled.  
„It was of course no problem to integrate the meagre years you have lived before.“  
„Thanks“ you muttered again, this time more pointedly.  
How could destiny hate you so much? This - you looked at the dark eyes who stared back at you, the same disbelief in them - thing was to be your soulmate?  
„What … „ you took a deep breath, too tired to finish the sentence.  
„I’ll take you to the Continuum.“ it was strange seeing him this somber after his previous antics. And slightly unsettling if you had to be honest with yourself.  
„Why?“ you blinked. The memories of a lonely existence pushed themselves forward. Thousand of years watching neutrons and protons, observing the beginning and the end. Alone.  
He didn’t answer.  
„Do I have a say in this?“  
He furrowed his brows ever so slightly. A mocking smile pulled at his lips.  
„Of course not, my dear.“ he bent over your bed the tips of his fingers grasping your face with utmost care.  
„You’re beautiful, mon petit cher.“


End file.
